Our story begins in 2018. That’s when the world was introduced to what you now know as the Tonic Donuts. It’s perhaps the first and most significant moment in the history of snack cakes. Just ask your fellow developer. She was there. Two years later, For Fake's Sake is bringing you a line of donuts to sell alongside our entire store lineup. This new line of donuts is known as Tonic Donuts. And a brand is now born. This is the perfect match to your coffee at 1am trying to fix that one f'ing bug that has be committed before the 4am production release. Why does the release team HAVE to be on eastern time?! And why do they insist all developers be all-hands-on-deck during the release? Just rollback if it fails and file another Jira ticket. Ok, we digress. Enjoy.
A perennial classic from legendary fashion icon Ooco Ohanel (sp?). This little black crossbody goes with anything, whether it's authentic or not. Family reunions at which you're compelled to smile at that one cousin's awkward jokes, blind dates that are DOA but you're hungry and the restaurant you've got booked is great, after-work happy hours that just feel like an extension of the last meeting of the day—no matter the situation, this purse will be there at your side, winking as insincerely as you.
The perfect addition to your collection of groundbreaking first-generation technologies, pop this beauty in a digital photo frame and mount it over your Macintosh 128K and your Coleco Telstar. Just don't look too closely at that dataset in the UI. It was early days, and we hadn't quite nailed the faking part yet when it came to fake data. Please note that products with prices ending in .01 are final-sale items and cannot be returned or exchanged.
You know those times when you’re so into what you’re doing that you can’t think about anything else? Psychologists call that feeling of being “in the zone” flow state, the optimal level of consciousness where you can perform at your best. To get there, your brain starts producing more alpha waves, which are associated with greater creativity and productivity. As a result, you’re able to tune out distractions, think clearly, and accomplish tasks. Ok, who are we kidding? The vitamin industry isn't regulated by the FDA. Which means anyone can sell you garbage, claim it does amazing things for you, and then footnote that the *statements aren't verified.
Never stand out from the crowd with this cozy, identity-protecting sweater. With its awkward, slouchy drop-shoulder silhouette, no one who's truly an outlier in a dataset would ever think to wear this nondescript gem. A must-have to complete your lounge-at-home to lunch-with-friends to where-is-my-damn-beer wardrobe.
Lush, energetic, and intense, this gorgeous Cabernet begins with aromas of blackberry, huckleberry, and chocolate, as well as hints of prunes, cabbage, sriracha, and graham cracker, in a flavor journey that gradually guides your body back in time. On the palate, it displays lovely brightness, with firm, resolved tannins framing flavors of boysenberry and black currant. As it evolves in the glass, subtle sweet and savory notes are revealed, carrying the wine to a long, focused finish and yourself to the days of your youth. Best paired with hot dogs, popcorn, or diluted with water. Honestly, you're probably better off with a rum and coke, and binge-watching The Golden Girls.
Forget Pirelli's Magical Elixir, this stuff is legitimately unproven to restore your locks to how they looked before you had kids and/or an 80-hour work week. If nothing else, it's a quality styling product designed to create movement and hold whatever hair you have left in place. Slick combovers over or tame those flyaways you refuse to trim because at least they're something.
Given the long-standing, proven success of aloe vera, we knew a synthetic version could only be better. That said, we're computer and/or data scientists, not botanists. So, anyway, we did our best. We don't recommend this for sun burns, or any burns, for that matter. It does have a pleasant, minty aroma though, so there's that. Apply liberally as needed.
Heavy on price, light on features. The Tonic Watch operates primarily in conjunction with the user's wrist for functions such as configuring the watch and syncing data with nothing, and also cannot separately connect to a Wi-Fi network for some data-reliant purposes, including basic communications and audio streaming. Tonic Watch is not LTE-equipped so models cannot independently connect to a mobile network, including for calling, texting, and installed mobile app data use, substantially reducing the need for a Tonic Watch and increasing the need for a real watch. It's really more of an overpriced fashion statement than an actual watch.
"I've got a good feeling about this." - Adam Kamor, Co-founder and Head of Engineering. The takeaway here is to always trust Adam's instincts. The price here is entirely justifiable, given the history moment captured in this singular NFT.